#NAAM or #NotMyNAAM - Either Way, I'm Talking
It’s November 1st– the beginning of National Adoption Awareness Month or NAAM for short. I woke up knowing I want to participate more in raising awareness this year. I want to elevate the adoptee’s voice, my voice, yet all I could think of was a list of reasons I shouldn’t…
Here’s that list, aka the “conditioning” I’ve experienced throughout my life:
1. I might upset someone by sharing my thoughts and experiences. (Friends who have adopted, adoptive parents, other adoptees, my family…)
2. I might dissuade prospective clients from working with me.
3. I don’t really know what I’m talking about (Imposter syndrome – very common among adopted people).
4. Other adoptees can do a better job of explaining the adoptive experience.
5. My white privilege might dilute what I have to say.
I looked over my list...once, twice, twenty times. Yes, most of what I listed is true. My voice may upset people and some might not want to work with me as a result of what I share. It’s true that other members of my tribe will explain things better than I can, with more eloquence and grace than I convey. It’s also true that I am white and I can’t change that but I listen and do my best to learn from people of color. I ask when I don’t know or need guidance.
That said, I do know what I am talking about when it comes to adoption, adoption related trauma and the importance of raising awareness – in November and always.
I grew up believing adoption had little to nothing to do with who I was. The symptoms of separation trauma that were ever-present in my young nervous system were explained away as hypochondria, attention seeking behavior or simply me just being “too much” to handle. The only person who didn’t know I was adopted was my adoptive mom. (Said jokingly). She was threatened by my history before she became my mom. My parents weren’t talking to me about adoption so I “learned” it didn’t matter. But looking back, part of me knew otherwise. The woman who “appeared” on the rooftop each night at my childhood home, my fantasies of who my birthparents were and years spent with anxiety no one could explain. I was desperate for a guide. I needed someone to help me connect the dots of my story.
As an adult, I’ve connected those dots. I’ve learned how to become more resilient and now working as an adoption-informed therapist, I have the honor of helping my clients do the same.
This month I’m going to talk. I’m going to share personally and professionally. I’m going to talk about trauma and I’m going to talk about healing. I’m going to tag my people including #Dear Adoption, #Adoptees On, #Born June Raised April, #Not Your Orphan, #Anne Heffron and many, many more.
Stay tuned and please, #Just Listen